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Eleanor Verner

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Wild Boy in the orchard

Wild Boy in the orchard

Thursday, August 06, 2015

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Eleanor Verner

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  1. Illustrated by Anna Magnowska
    05 Sep, 2016
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    I found the first year of motherhood to be predominately a living hell. Half the problem was that I wasn’t expecting it. People don’t talk about how awful new-borns are when you get pregnant, they always say ‘congratulations!’ instead of ‘holy fuck!’ My all-natural, yoga-breathing, whale-singing, home birth ended after three days with an epidural, a tear through me bigger than most junk mail gets, and four pairs of hands up, what I used to consider, a dainty passage. The thing they finally
  2. The Restaurant Blogs - Re-published on popular request
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    The first one:  We’ve moved house. The cat shat in the bath. Enough said. We are now looking at piles of boxes in East Devon, the same boxes, but in different configurations. My makeup box is now under a very large box of Anthony’s fishing magazines, on which I administered a couple of wrestling moves before it tore, spilling a glossy image of a carp onto my feet and momentarily leading me to believe I had found a mirror. The box of vitally important, business related papers are under the box
  3. The Last Frost Fair
    29 Jul, 2015
    The Last Frost Fair
    The Thames was frozen. The north and the south gazed across at each other through the clear air and space between them and noticed things on the other side they had not before observed - new buildings of Bath stone, fresh scaffolds and the bare skeletons of piers, stripped of their usual scurrying flesh. The ships had all gone to anchor in the stronger currents toward the sea, leaving behind them a virgin footpath through the city. The river became a sudden spectacle, its brilliance drew the
  4. Excerpts from my gap year
    05 Oct, 2014
    Excerpts from my gap year
    Dear Losers, New South Wales is much better than Wales. The weather has been marvelous up until this week, now its pissing down with rain but is still nice and warm except in places where it is air conditioned then its much like England is now I imagine. So far we have been down from Sydney to Nowra which is Amber's home town and she took us to around a hundred beaches she considers to be of notable beauty, and they were all spectacular. One day I shook out my towel forgetting that it had money